The Opinion piece “Are doctors biased against older patients and those with dementia?” (May 6) is a timely reminder to caregivers and medical professionals.

My mother-in-law is a centenarian. She walks with minimal human aid, eats heartily and sleeps on average 16 hours daily. Other than a slight hearing impairment in one ear, she is otherwise in as perfect health as a 100-year-old can be.

She was admitted to the hospital late in 2023 with a medical problem. A scope or other invasive procedures to ascertain the cause was needed, but the thrust of the medical advice was not to subject her to unavoidable trauma at her age. The doctor further reasoned that even if the medical team could identify the cause, would we want to treat her, potentially by doing an operation?

I asked and was told there were no options. Fortunately, her condition has not recurred since then. Another doctor I spoke to told me that there was another option of a minimally invasive procedure that could be done to potentially uncover the cause of her condition, thus mitigating risks and feelings of discomfort.

My 97-year-old mother died last week. In my interactions with her doctors, I consistently received this main message – “she has lived to a ripe age, why subject her to more pain and suffering, she has dementia, proceed to comfort care”. I agreed with the essence of the advice, but the choice of words bothered me.

Besides age, doctors must consider related issues like the general health of the patient. Conversations relating to the medical condition, prognosis and follow-up advice should also be done in a private setting, not in a ward corridor.

And medical professionals and caregivers must learn how to speak with each other, not in the usual “I tell you” manner used by doctors. Caregivers should learn how to ask questions such as “What other options do I need to know of?”.

Consider asking for a second and even third opinion – after all, we are dealing with the issue of continued health and even the life of a loved one.

Paul Heng