SINGAPORE - Adopted children searching for their biological parents can turn to the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF), which says it will facilitate contact, if the birth parents are contactable and agree to be connected with their child.

In the past two years, it has received 20 requests from adopted children asking for help to find and connect with their birth parents, its spokesman told The Straits Times.

ST had asked the ministry for an update on an adoption registry that it had first spoken about in 2022, among other questions, such as which government agencies adopted children can turn to for help for information about their biological parents.

The MSF had said in 2022 that it was assessing the suitability of setting up such a register, which would contain information on birth parents and the circumstances under which a child was placed for adoption.

In a reply, an MSF spokesman said: “Access to adoption records can be a sensitive issue for adoptive parents, adoptees and birth parents.

“The MSF is monitoring the impact of recent steps towards greater disclosure, including encouraging all adoption applicants to attend a disclosure briefing, before deciding on whether to set up an adoption registry.”

Disclosure briefings give adoptive parents the skills and knowledge to tell their child about the adoption. Parents are not mandated to tell their child the truth about his birth, although the MSF strongly encourages them to do so.

Children adopted in Singapore who want to search for their biological parents can contact the Immigration and Checkpoints Authority to ask for copies of their previous birth records in the Register of Births, which would reflect their birth parents’ names, the MSF spokesman added.

A spokesman for the Singapore Courts said adopted children can file a request to the Family Justice Courts to inspect their adoption case files, if their adoptive parents consent to their search for the adoption records.

The adoption records will contain the biological parents’ particulars, including their names and addresses, if the information is known at the time of the adoption application.

The Singapore Courts spokesman added that information relating to the submission of such requests is available on the SG Courts website under “Apply for court records: civil and family cases”.

It receives fewer than 10 such requests a year.

Social service professionals who work with adopted children and their parents say that the children can ask their adoptive parents for information on their birth parents.

Ms Deirdre Lim, head of Touch Adoption, said: “It is important to assure adoptive parents that the search is about finding the missing pieces and consolidating their own identity, rather than a rejection of the adoptive parents. This will help to address fears and uncertainties concerning the search.”

She added that the search can be an emotional experience for all involved, and adopted children can consider getting a third party, such as Touch Adoption, to facilitate the reunion.

Touch Adoption staff will prepare both parties for the reunion, and manage their expectations before they meet. They will also provide counselling if it is needed, she added.

She said Touch Adoption facilitates such reunions on an ad hoc basis – about one or two such meetings a year. 

Ms Lim said some of the birth families are not what the adopted children envision them to be, and adopted children have to be prepared for uncertainties. They also have to consider how often and in what ways they want to keep in touch, after the reunion.

Social service professionals also caution that the birth parents may not want to see the child they placed for adoption for various reasons.

For example, the birth parents may not want to be reminded of a past hurt, sense of shame, guilt or regret associated with the circumstances that led to the adoption.

They also understand that adoption means a severing of ties with their child, and may hence refuse contact.

Mr Justin Mui, chairman of Stepping Stones, said: “Individuals need to respect that adoption agencies are unable to disclose information to the child about his or her birth parents without the birth parents’ consent. Birth parents might not want to have contact with the child due to personal reasons.”

He added: “Individuals should be emotionally prepared as there might be rejection from the birth parents or denial from their family of origin, leading to a futile search.”

Stepping Stones is an adoption agency set up by the Lutheran Community Care Services, a social service agency.

Touch Adoption is running a workshop in the first half of 2024 called “Am I ready for a birth search?”. To find out more details about the workshop, contact Touch at adoption@touch.org.sg

If you would like to contact the MSF, e-mail MSF_Adoption@msf.gov.sg